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“This Wasn’t the Plan”: A Love Letter to the Millennial Mom Who Feels She’s Lost Herself

To the woman who traded heels for home slippers, conference calls for crying toddlers, and freedom for fierce love — you’re not alone.

I didn’t see this coming.

Not the stretch marks, not the emotional meltdowns (mine, not the baby’s), not the endless mental load of “Did I remember to sterilize the bottles?” “Did I pay the school fees?” “Did I eat today?”

As Indian millennial moms, many of us grew up in the golden age of possibilities. We were told we could “have it all” — a thriving career, a loving partner, perfect kids, glowing skin, and a Pinterest-worthy home. Some of us did climb the corporate ladder, build our dream wardrobes, vacation abroad, or launch our businesses.

And then motherhood happened.

Suddenly, “having it all” turned into “doing it all.”

We entered motherhood thinking it would add to our lives. Instead, for a while, it replaced it. Our sense of self, our routines, our ambitions — paused. Or worse, felt erased.

The world around us didn’t prepare us for this version of motherhood. Social media showed glowing maternity shoots, adorable reels with sleepy babies, and aesthetic “mompreneur” home offices with toddlers quietly reading in the background.

Reality? You’re on day 3 of dry shampoo, scrolling job sites at 2 AM while holding a feverish child. The only thing quietly reading is the gas bill.

But here’s what no one tells you — this phase doesn’t break you. It remakes you.

Slowly, through the chaos, you’ll rediscover parts of yourself. Maybe not the same “you” from your pre-mom days, but someone deeper, wiser, stronger. You may find strength in places you didn’t know existed — like negotiating with a preschooler or standing up for flexible work hours without flinching.

Yes, your lifestyle may have done a 360.
But maybe that circle brought you right back — not to the old you — but to the real you.

Here’s what I want you to remember, mama:

  • You are still ambitious. Just because you’re not sprinting doesn’t mean you stopped running.
  • You are still beautiful. Even if no one’s liked your post in a week. Even if you don’t fit your pre-pregnancy jeans.
  • You are still you. Even if your to-do list says otherwise.

This isn’t a detour. This is part of your story. You didn’t lose yourself — you’re evolving. And you get to define what your glow up looks like now.

So here’s to the moms who didn’t plan for this version of life — but are showing up, day by day, with love, grace, and a hell of a lot of strength.

You’re not behind.
You’re building.
And we see you.

From one messy bun to another,
A fellow millennial mom.

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